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Yuliya Rackal does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment. Flexibility is the ability to bend without breaking.

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If we are all trees amidst a pandemic storm, the windy gusts of virus variants and vaccine delays are blowing our branches, hard. Are we sheltering the storm by slipping under the sheets with a ificant other? Surprisingly, no.

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The naked truth is that Canadians are having less sex, not more, according to a national survey by researchers at the University of British Columbia. Reasons for this decrease could include increased mental health problemstoo much time together for couples or too much time alone for singles. Research has consistently found that more frequent intimate sexual encounters are associated with greater well-being.

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Regardless of their personal situation, improving sexual flexibility may be just what Canadians need to perk up their drooping sex lives. A sexual script is like a sexual menu. When you go to have a sexual interaction with someone, you have this menu of options that you can select from. Some will have a bigger menu because they have more things they have thought of, and some have a more exclusive menu.

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With your partner, you have to figure out the pieces of that menu you might want. Detours in sexual scripts could present as differences in desire between partners due to factors including pain, performance anxiety, arousal difficulties, medical conditions or times of transition like menopause. How easily one can change their approach, modify strategies for sex or think of different options to suit changing sexual situations are components of the SexFlex scale.

Individuals able to try alternate strategies to preferred sexual scripts are thought to cope better with acute and chronic sexual issues. In their study of post-prostate cancer patients, University of New Brunswick researchers found most men had fairly narrow and traditional sexual scripts that required penile-vaginal intercourse. Erectile dysfunction was often seen as the end of their sex life and many chose to discontinue all sexual activity, even when their desire for sex was still intact.

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Motivation is also critical. The distinction between a sensory experience that mutually gratifies both partners and sex to accommodate the desires of just one is important. Engaging in sex to avoid conflict or disappointment is associated with lower relationship and sexual satisfaction. Unsurprisingly, sex that enhances intimacy or promotes closeness with a partner has the opposite outcome.

Back to the food metaphors. This is especially important for those with a history of trauma or medical issues. Taking bubble baths together or simply spooning naked in bed would be examples. But sexual self-disclosurediscussing sexual likes and dislikes, can produce a menu that is consensual and mutually pleasurable.

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And as always nowadays, there are apps — like Mojo — that are useful for helping to add sexual novelties. New flavours that, with ongoing discussion and consent, could spice up the menu. For those with vulvas, OMGYes! There is evidence that those adapting their sexual lives in creative ways are thriving despite the swirling pandemic storm.

The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University surveyed 1, adults — 70 per cent female and 75 per cent American — and found that while nearly half reported a decline in their sex life, those expanding their sexual repertoire by including new activities such as sexting, trying new sexual positions or sharing sexual fantasies were three times more likely to see their sex life improve.

Kim Tallbear, an associate professor of Native Studies at the University of Alberta is one of the producers of Woman want sex Cyclone Confessionsa creative storytelling show on sex, sexuality and gender with Indigenous, feminist, queer and educational perspectives. Her critical lens on decolonizing sexuality challenges us to consider that love and care can be enlarged, not compromised or lost, when we embrace a multiplicity of relations. Plymouth Contemporary — Plymouth, Devon.

Edition: Available editions United Kingdom. Yuliya RackalUniversity of Toronto.

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